Just a waste of time and money

Well I have decided to cancel my weight watchers account for a number of reasons. First with the kids, a full time job and about 30 minutes to my self on a daily basis, I decided to cancel the account. I just can't keep up with the points and logging and all that is required. Plus the cost! I lost 60+ lbs on my own years ago when I set my mind to it and I am setting my mind to do it again, dammit!

What I did do to make things better is buy the iTunes app for the South Beach diet for my phone for $1.99. I rejected the offer of an additional $4.99 for the additional recipes for now. I start tomorrow so wish me luck. Tonight I am drinking my last Belgo Belgian style Pale ale and enjoying a dessert of chocolate chip banana cake for the last time for awhile.

I love the South Beach diet, I really do. The first time I was on it I lost close to 30 pounds and the second time was closer to 20. Both times resulted in a pregnancy might I add so I stopped following it. Three boys is plenty, thank you very much.

But this time I am going to do it. I know, I know! Sure you are! Right? You, the reader who has followed me knows that losing weight is a topic that I am constantly talking about. But this time something is different. It hit me the other day that I am overweight, really overweight. My clothes hurt my skin, and the it just broke my heart to think of what this has done to my husband.

I know he loves me unconditionally but I have gained close to 50 pounds over our almost 14 year marriage and using the excuse that I've had three kids in a four year period is getting old. My youngest is 6 for goodness sakes! I also don't want to be a fat mom. If you didn't have a fat mom growing up then you might not understand. I was teased and forced to defend my moms weight when to me it didn't matter, but kids can be mean. The other day my youngest who is 6 called me "fatty". That hurt but he's right, I am fat. But don't for a second think that I let him get away with calling me that. He had a talking to about name calling, I don't wants kids to be judgmental. So that's that in a nutshell. Tomorrow I start phase one of South Beach and I am going to do great! I will post again about this topic in two weeks to let y'all know how I did then its on to phase 2. Hope you had a great weekend. I had an epiphany about my life and what I want, and it's not to be overweight anymore!

Crazy weather!

Hubby and I were talking about the crazy weather we have been having. And quite frankly I am sick of it. Apparently we have had the hottest months of June and July on record. We have also had more hail storms than I care to count. Our garden is a sad little mess of bruised and broken plants. My beautiful petunia’s have grown back only to be pulverized once again and our heirloom tomatoes are the size of grapes and scarred by the hail. The only plants that seem to have made it thus far is the onions and garlic.  Thankfully the rain has helped our grass though.  I really want Autumn to come and stay for awhile so I can knit and bake to my hearts content. And the idea of cool, crisp Autumn nights for sleeping sounds like heaven! The kids go back to school on Monday, and I have yet to get school supplies. I started back to work on Monday and so far so good but my hand is killing me. I am hoping my doctor will agree to a cortisone shot to help with the pain, otherwise I don’t know what to do. Taking 6 Advil a day is not my idea of pain control. Well have a great rest of the week.

Good news.

As I wrote in my last post I had scheduled an appointment with a hand specialist. I saw him on Monday and he agrees nothing is broken but a sprain can take a long time to fully heal. He wanted me to schedule an MRI to determine if there was ligament or tissue damage and when I scheduled the appointment and was told I would need to pay $1000 out of pocket up front, I cancelled. I am just not in the financial position to spend that kind of money on my self. If the pain persist or gets worse than I might reconsider but since I have been our of work for a month and have no income I can’t feel good about spending that much money on myself when the kids need new shoes, clothes and supplies for school. What if the test comes back that everything is fine, and all it is is a very painful sprain. Then I am out $1000. I am already out a months income at this point so I just can’t justify spending that money on myself.

The good news is that the doctor fully released me to go back to work, so I will start back up Monday. Even though it’s stressful to be around three boys who bicker constantly and who create the biggest messes for me to clean up I have enjoyed my month off with them. I am not one of those moms who wants to work, more like one who needs work to help the family financially. If we could afford to have me stay home, I would. I love being with my kids more than anything but I have also gained a lot from going back to work. A confidence in myself that some moms tend to loss when they cut off ties from the outside world to stay home.  I earn money to help my family, I earn money to spend on myself and my kids. I don’t have to ask hubby to buy something or buy my gas. I hate asking him for money so  having a job and freedom feels awesome. I love that I can just take my kids out to eat without asking Jas if we have enough money for that. My kids go back to school in a week so I have been home for half of their break which was nice for all of us.  This weekend is going to be mellow but I will leave you with some photos from the Colorado Renaissance Festival we attended last weekend.  The boys were so against going because they didn’t know what it was but as soon as they got there and saw the horses and jousters, swords, bow and arrows and all the fun festivities they didn’t want to leave.  Have a great weekend, and I am really going to try to post more.

 

Colorado Renaissance Festival photos 1. Triquetra tattoo that I am thinking of getting. 2. My three boys. 3. A man showing Henry how to properly shake another mans hand (up high to feel for weapons). 4 Jack and a sword. 5. Jack getting the “flaming skull” face paint. 6. King and King greeting Owen. 7. The boys meeting a dragon. 8. Jack with his messy face paint and me with my fresh-flower crown. 9 A fun filter I used for Jack’s flaming skull face. 10. The archers in our back yard with their new bows and arrows.

This goes beyond an update!

At this point I am not sure anyone reads my blog anymore which is fine, I just need a place to journal but thanks to those who still check in from time to time. Looking back my last post was October of last year. I was still in school working on my CNA certification which is a requirement of my school to go on to the nursing classes. At this point in time I have decided to continue working on my pre-requisites and not get my Associates in nursing but continue working towards my Bachelor’s degree. On December 31st I passed my state boards for the CNA and in April got a fulltime job at a rehabilitation hospital which I love! I work with patient who have suffered a traumatic brain injury from one accident or another. It’s hard work but very rewarding. I really love my job and the hospital that I work for.

Unlike most jobs I am not micro-managed. I come in, find out who my patient is and get to work. Most days I work with only one or two patients. I am what is called a Behavioral Attendant which means I am a one on one rehab tech for a patient who requires one on one attention. It’s a measure our hospital takes to ensure that a patient who is confused or needs constant supervision because they have a trach or another medical issue gets the attention they need. I love that about our hospital. Our patients really are cared for. So to bring you to date. I am not working at this time because a month ago I fell while with my kids and my natural reaction to brace myself kicked into place I landed directly on my hand and injured it. First appointment I was given a brace and sent home to do a follow up. At the follow up appointment my hand was x-rayed and I was told I broke a bone in my wrist and they put a cast on. A cast that went from fingers to elbow. Another follow up appointment a week and a half later showed I did not break anything and the cast was removed. WTF? The same radiologist read both x-rays and all of a sudden I don’t have a broken wrist. Don’t get me wrong I am happy about this BUT I have been on medical leave and I feel like I look like an idiot calling my job one week telling them I would be casted for 6 to 8 weeks, and almost 2 weeks later I had to call them and tell them it would be more like 3 weeks.

So Monday I have an appointment with the specialist who performed my carpal tunnel surgeries on my hands a few years back. My hand still hurts, I can type only because my wrist doesn’t move but don’t ask me to lift anything heavy or write for that matter. So frustrating. So we shall see what Monday brings. Have a great weekend. We will be doing more Geocaching tomorrow and then this weekend we are headed to the Renaissance Festival in Larkspur!

Braced hand

Casted hand

October 2011 photos

Teeny tiny Mochimochi candy corn. Isn’t he cute?

Bobbles the Sheep dishcloth  This was my first attempt at bobbles and might be my last.

Mr. Caterpoopypants is our pet.{JJ} caught him the other day and I felt bad about releasing him outside since the weather channel was predicting major snow and temperatures in the teens. SO I pick fresh lilac leaves for him twice a day which he loves to eat. One thing I never knew about caterpillars, not that I know a lot about them, is that they poop a lot!
 

{O} playing the lap steel and {H} practicing on his drum pad.


{O} at Rock Park on a class hike

 

My three wild & crazy handsome boys! I love them so!
All four of my guys decorating Halloween cookies last night!