Just a waste of time and money

Well I have decided to cancel my weight watchers account for a number of reasons. First with the kids, a full time job and about 30 minutes to my self on a daily basis, I decided to cancel the account. I just can't keep up with the points and logging and all that is required. Plus the cost! I lost 60+ lbs on my own years ago when I set my mind to it and I am setting my mind to do it again, dammit!

What I did do to make things better is buy the iTunes app for the South Beach diet for my phone for $1.99. I rejected the offer of an additional $4.99 for the additional recipes for now. I start tomorrow so wish me luck. Tonight I am drinking my last Belgo Belgian style Pale ale and enjoying a dessert of chocolate chip banana cake for the last time for awhile.

I love the South Beach diet, I really do. The first time I was on it I lost close to 30 pounds and the second time was closer to 20. Both times resulted in a pregnancy might I add so I stopped following it. Three boys is plenty, thank you very much.

But this time I am going to do it. I know, I know! Sure you are! Right? You, the reader who has followed me knows that losing weight is a topic that I am constantly talking about. But this time something is different. It hit me the other day that I am overweight, really overweight. My clothes hurt my skin, and the it just broke my heart to think of what this has done to my husband.

I know he loves me unconditionally but I have gained close to 50 pounds over our almost 14 year marriage and using the excuse that I've had three kids in a four year period is getting old. My youngest is 6 for goodness sakes! I also don't want to be a fat mom. If you didn't have a fat mom growing up then you might not understand. I was teased and forced to defend my moms weight when to me it didn't matter, but kids can be mean. The other day my youngest who is 6 called me "fatty". That hurt but he's right, I am fat. But don't for a second think that I let him get away with calling me that. He had a talking to about name calling, I don't wants kids to be judgmental. So that's that in a nutshell. Tomorrow I start phase one of South Beach and I am going to do great! I will post again about this topic in two weeks to let y'all know how I did then its on to phase 2. Hope you had a great weekend. I had an epiphany about my life and what I want, and it's not to be overweight anymore!

October 2011 photos

Teeny tiny Mochimochi candy corn. Isn’t he cute?

Bobbles the Sheep dishcloth  This was my first attempt at bobbles and might be my last.

Mr. Caterpoopypants is our pet.{JJ} caught him the other day and I felt bad about releasing him outside since the weather channel was predicting major snow and temperatures in the teens. SO I pick fresh lilac leaves for him twice a day which he loves to eat. One thing I never knew about caterpillars, not that I know a lot about them, is that they poop a lot!
 

{O} playing the lap steel and {H} practicing on his drum pad.


{O} at Rock Park on a class hike

 

My three wild & crazy handsome boys! I love them so!
All four of my guys decorating Halloween cookies last night!

What’s for supper

I am not much of a cook but every once in awhile I will find a recipe that I enjoy making for my family. I do love to bake so my meals are always followed by something yummy. It “encourages” the boys to at least try the meal when they know that a nice homemade cupcake is waiting for them afterwards. Since we had a little taste of fall last week I was inspired to cook a meal worthy of autumn weather so I went out and bought organic pumpkin puree for homemade pumpkin cupcakes and  the fixings for White Chili. My house is still filled with the scents of ginger, cinnamon and allspice.
Here’s the recipe for the White Chili from my Betty Crocker cookbook. This recipe is awesome and is great with a dollop of sour cream on top. I go easy with the basil since it’s such a strong flavored spice. I start out using only 1 teaspoon and add a sprinkle if needed. I used the full amount my first time making this and it overpowered the flavor.

• PREP TIME20 Min
• TOTAL TIME1 Hr. 30 Min

1/4 cup butter or margarine

1 large onion, chopped (1 cup)

1 garlic clove, finely chopped

4 cups 1/2-inch cubes cooked chicken or turkey

3 cups Progresso® chicken broth (from 32-oz. carton)

2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro

1 tablespoon dried basil leaves

2 teaspoons ground red chilies or Chili powder

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves

2 cans (15 to 16 oz. each) great northern beans, undrained

1 medium tomato, chopped (3/4 cup)

Blue or yellow corn tortilla chips

• 1 Melt butter in 4-quart Dutch oven over medium heat. Cook onion and garlic in butter, stirring occasionally until onion is tender.
• 2 Stir in remaining ingredients except tomato and tortilla chips. Heat to boiling; reduce heat. Cover and simmer 1 hour, stirring occasionally. Serve with tomato and tortilla chips.

Here’s the recipe for the Pumpkin cupcakes which I found on MarthaStewart.com They were awesome as well. The only thing I would change is adding less butter next time. I am not sure how that would change the recipe but the cupcake liners were very greasy once the cupcakes were baked and cooling. The cupcake itself was not greasy so I am not sure I would cut out that much or maybe just add a tablespoon more of flour. I’ll test this out next time. This time I doubled the liners so in this photo you can’t see how much absorbed into the first liner. Anyhow the recipe says it yields 18 cupcakes but I ended up with 24 nice size cupcakes. More to enjoy!  I frosted them with a cream cheese frosting and topped them off with grated chocolate toffee bar. To.die.for!

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon coarse salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
• 1 cup packed light-brown sugar
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
• 4 large eggs, lightly beaten
• 1 can (15 ounces) pumpkin puree

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line cupcake pans with paper liners; set aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, and allspice; set aside.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together, brown sugar, granulated sugar, butter, and eggs. Add dry ingredients, and whisk until smooth. Whisk in pumpkin puree.
3. Divide batter evenly among liners, filling each about halfway. Bake until tops spring back when touched, and a cake tester inserted in the center comes out clean, 20 to 25 minutes, rotating pans once if needed. Transfer to a wire rack; let cool completely.

{this moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in my comments or over at SouleMama’s  for all to find and see.

{This Moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in my comments or over at SouleMama’s  for all to find and see.

 

(to view larger photo click on the “read more” link. I am trying to change the css so all posts are on one page and can show more than one photo without having to click the “see more” link.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(please excuse our ugly backyard mish mosh of tiles, rocks, weird wood rail and that ornamental stuff on the right on the bottom of the house. I think each previous added separate things because nothing in this yard matches or even makes sense! LOL  My goal is to get rid of everything and build a beautiful deck)

My sick little guy

I couldn't post these during the week because the battery on my Nikon D70 died on me and I wasn't able to upload photos but I took care of that today. Poor Jack had a low grade fever and a persistent cough all week long. The cough is still bothering bim but otherwise he is doing better, thankfully. I think part of the problem is seasonal allergies. We administered a nebulizer treatment which helped him breathe better and have kept him off milk products which is one of the worse things you can do to that kid! He's a milk fiend and trying to explain to a 5 year old the benefits of being dairy free while sick doesn't matter one bit! :)

{This Moment}

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.
If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments  over at SouleMama for all to find and see.

Who shit in my kids cornflakes this morning?

I hope you all understand the saying that I used for my title, it’s pretty explanatory though. If someone shat in your cornflakes you’d probably have a bad day and that is exactly what is going on with my kids today! Only three more days of Spring break and I am counting down the days until they all go back to school!

The oldest isn’t really the problem. It’s mostly Owen and Jack. Either they are at each others throat or completely acting up in public like they did at the library today. I told them if we had good behavior at the library they could get Dairy Queen as a treat. It’s next to the library and it’s been awhile so I thought it would be nice. Well in the end I only bought for Henry. On one hand I felt horrible because Jack cried the whole way home that he wanted ice cream, but on the other hand I gave O & J more chances than they deserved to earn the treat and I wasn’t about to reward that type of behavior!  Jack told me he wished I wasn’t his Mommy. So, I am the bad guy in this?

Have you ever been out in public and been totally embarrassed by your kids behavior? It sucks. I always try to be relaxed and laid back and let them have fun but even that they can’t do without totally acting up and then I get tense and the enjoyment is gone.  Owen was laying on the floor with his feet above his head as Jack was spanking him. I felt like walking away saying in a loud voice “Where is their mother!?” but since abandonment is illegal I didn’t. I just drowned my failure in an ice cream cone.

Quote of the day:
Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth! - Henry David Thoreau

Photos from the past and present.

My boys. Owen, Henry & Jack at last years Field Day at H’s school.

This was taken today with my Nikon D70 which I had lost interest in. There was a time that I took photos daily with that camera and for some reason it became unenjoyable  trying to take the perfect picture. Well, I took it out last night and decided I would enjoy my skills for what they are. Lacking but these photos are great memories to have.

 

Jack was being a bit of a grump in this photo but I love how it turned out.

Henry at a baseball game last summer

Quote of the day:
Seek simplicity, and distrust it. - Alfred North Whitehead

Asperger’s Syndrome or whatever the hell it is…..

In a nutshell, the last two weeks have been hell. It seems so silly that a 5 year old can bring me to tears but there have been a lot of tears shed over the last few weeks. Mostly by me. 
I think I have posted about Owen’s issues here before but for those who aren’t sure what I am talking about here goes: something is wrong with my son. Period. I have been trying to get him evaluated by anyone over the past few years and finally we have an appointment with Children’s Hospital in JUNE and the second appointment in SEPTEMBER.  I actually set these appointment up in December of 2009 so you can see my frustrations in how long this is taking. I hear from other moms who are dealing with similar issues with their own children and the school steps in or the pediatrician helps out. But not here. Basically it’s been ME fighting for my son.
At school the kids have a behavior chart. They start off on green and have to work at keeping their green position. If they act out or whatever it’s moved to yellow…. or red. Think stop light here. Pretty simple. Green means good, red is bad. Well over the last two weeks Owen has had more red and yellows then greens. Today I wanted to speak to his teacher to find out what was going on. She seemed near tears when I first approached her. His behavior has been off to say it nicely. He has a hard time listening, he gets easily upset over almost nothing. Apparently it’s something to him but for the outsider it’s not obvious what set him off.
Today he had a full blown fit and was sent to the principal’s office. He’s been sent to the office 4 or 5 times now. What Kindergartener gets in trouble and has to be sent to the office?  I am so frustrated! His problems are at their worst when the teacher is out and has a substitute teacher filling in. They never seem to know how to handle Owen. Another time that causes his anxiety and issues is during transition time from one activity to another or being moved from one classroom to another. How is he suppose to go to first grade next year when he can barely contain his emotions. Kids are going to be so mean. I already see it.
I am at my wits end. With him, with his school, with the doctors, with everything right now. My back is against the wall and until he gets an evaluation and we know what his issues are the school can’t (or won’t) step in. His teacher is awesome but as she told me today, she’s not trained to understand what he’s going through….  and the only thing I can do is keep reading and researching his behavior and hope for the best. Each day he tells me he’s going to get a green and at the end of the day when I pick him up I can see it in his face that today wasn’t his day. It’s breaking my heart to see him so disappointed in himself.
As for the title, we honestly believe that Owen has Asperger’s Syndrome which is considered part of the Autism Spectrum Disorder or Pervasive Developmental Disorders. All the signs and behavior point to AS. I’ve looked up ADD, ADHD, and just about anything that can cause a kid to behave outside the “norm” and nothing makes more sense to me than AS.  His last pediatrician agreed with our concerns after a long appointment and told us that it is expensive to be evaluated and like I said he believed that Owen has AS. I was happy with that, it’s not that I WANT or NEED a diagnosis to make ME happy but once I knew for sure that I am not nuts and yes my son has AS I can go about getting him the help he needs both in school and at home. Then the inlaws, in complete denial, stepped in. The same ones who see him maybe twice a year and when they do they spend very limited time with him. Geez, thanks for the family support through what has been my most challenging issues as a mom!

Anyhow, thanks for reading if you actually made it this far. Hubby is taking us out for ice cream. G’night.